Stumbles in Body Language

For the most part American and Moldovans have similar actions, movements and gestures while communicating however, there are a few differences that are difficult to adjust to.

The main one is smiling. As an American, and especially as a Montanan, I smile all the time. I smile when I greet people in the morning, when I say goodbye, when I pass people on the street, when I get on a bus, when I'm running frantically to the bathroom, all the time. Moldovans do not smile much. This doesn't mean they aren't happy or funny, they just see smiling as little gifts you save for special times. One of the first things I heard in this country from a Moldovan was "smiling is expensive." Of course, this Moldovan and I and the rest of our PST group made a big joke of this but in reality the saying holds truth. When you pass Moldovans on the street and smile or get on a bus smiling you automatically are labeled as a foreigner, and based on the looks I've received after trying to start a smiling trend, a buffoon of a foreigner. I imagine it is the same look I would have if I walked into a party and was greeted with the host telling me the evening would consist of us learning the art of miming.

The other that I noticed and confused me to no end was eye contact. In general, when talking with someone Americans and Moldovans both look the person in the eye, but while I was talking to my LTIs a few weeks ago I realized that they were looking anywhere but my eyes. I shouldn't say, I simply realized this, it was more of a minor freak out because I thought that I had something on my face and neck-because that's where they were looking while I was talking. I pretty much stopped mid story and said "what!? what's on me?!" while they laughed and said nothing that they were just looking at me. It was later explained that eye contact when you're in close proximity to another person is too intimate so you look elsewhere. If you ever want to mess with someone try looking at their forehead or neck while they talk. Good times.

Americans and Moldovans also have very different ideas about personal space. Coming from our individualist society our personal bubbles are pretty big in general. For instance, if you're out to lunch with a friend and they sit on the same side of the booth as you with your legs touching, it gets weird really quick. It isn't weird with Moldovans. It doesn't matter if it is 104 degrees out and you are sweating from every pore in your body, if you are friends then your bodies are touching while sitting. Granted this is not the case with all relationships in Moldova, just the special ones. The friendships that mean a lot. It's actually pretty sweet how much touching happens. Mothers and children and girl friends hold hands or link arms while they walk and men always shake hands on greeting. Kisses are also given out freely. I'm still getting used to this as my thing is hugs and always expect a hug to follow a cheek kiss- it does not and my attempts to embrace usually end with a super uncomfortable shoulder hug. I also have trouble aiming the cheek kisses and have ended up making a puckering noise in several peoples ears. I'll get it one day.